Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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