I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
