new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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