eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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