So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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