How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We have started to decorate penises.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
