I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Damn victory sex feels great
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize