Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
