yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
No subtext here. People are naked.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
