i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
