I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
