I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
