You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
