Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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