there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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