I love black thongs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
