That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
