Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I want is dick and wine.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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