i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
