"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
