writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone came in the potted fern
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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