Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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