I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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