Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
