he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
