Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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