Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
