I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
