Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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