Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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