What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
