perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize