Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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