I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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