Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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