i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
