Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
sex in a hospital.. check
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
