he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize