next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
