I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
