She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
