Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
