Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
