I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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