oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
