His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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