Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My dick has a subreddit
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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