Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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