forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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