Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
