Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
