Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
