Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Someone signed my nipple.
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