Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
