She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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