Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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