I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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