i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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