She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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